Archive for November, 2008

Fake John Anthony’s NFL Week 13 1PM Lock

Saturday, November 29th, 2008

Fake John Anthony loves the Panthers.  Steve Smith will have an awesome game against the GB secondary like the Saints did on MNF.  Go with the Panthers and the points.  They will not only cover but win outright.  Go with money line if you have the kahunas.

Fake John Anthony’s Black Friday Lock!

Friday, November 28th, 2008

FJA likes the Oklahoma Sooners tonight in Bedlam.  OK will close out the overrated Cowboys to cruise into the Big 12 championship game then National Championship game.  Go Coach Stoops!  Coach Gundy is out of his league when it comes to this type of game.

Fake John Anthony’s Thanksgiving College football lock

Thursday, November 27th, 2008

Fake John Anthony likes The Texas/Texas A&M game to be under 67.5 points.  This is Texas’s last chance to impress voters and they’ll bring their A game.  That said… they’ll shut out the Aggies for sure.  Stick with the under.  Bet the farm.

Juicy’s NFL Week 12 Review

Wednesday, November 26th, 2008

Here?s the NFL Low Down for Week 12 (and other mindless chatter just for good measure):

 

Congrats to Mr. & Mrs. Railhead for posting the largest gain this week, doubling up on the G-Men!

 

Another exciting week in the NFL.

 

The Giants continue to look scary good.

 

And the mighty Titans fell to the J-E-T-S who have won 7 of their last 8 and have started everyone thinking about a NY/NY Super Bowl.
I wonder who Springsteen cheers for. And I wonder how Favre?s 39-year
old body is going to feel come February. The oldest quarterback to win
a Super Bowl was John Elway in 1998 at 37 years of age. I don?t know how they do it. I am tired by the time week 13 rolls around just from waking up every Sunday morning and going to the bar to watch the games.

 

I?m sure the Lions were disappointed not to be the first team to beat the Titans on Thursday!

 

The Browns would be so much more fun to watch if the announcers called the coach Cromeo.

 

Can we just replace the AFC West with the top 4 teams from the Big XII??

 

Can we just put the NBA on hold until 2010 when we know where LeBron will be??

 

Oakland had scored only 9 offensive touchdowns in the first 11 weeks of the season. Heading into hostile territory, playing at Mile High Stadium, they had not scored an offensive touchdown in a month. Somehow, they were able to score 3 offensive TDs on Sunday and one bonus special teams TD.

 

McNabb was benched for the first time in his career. I wonder if he
knew that was possible. Sad that Reid wasn?t even the one to tell him.
He left the honors to the QB coach. Nice leadership there, Andy! We?ll
see what happens to the Eagles on Thursday. Evidently McNabb will be
the starter.

 

Matt Cassel
was the first NE quarterback to throw for back to back 400+ yard games.
He?s making it more and more difficult for the Patriots to overlook him
as a future contributor. And fantasy owners need to stop overlooking
him!!! 51% of owners with Cassel on their roster had him on the bench
on Sunday. According to the internet for computers, there are
30,000,000 people that play fantasy football. If each league has
between 10 and 12 teams, an average of 11 teams, then there are
2,727,272 active leagues. That means that there were 1,390,909 people
are kicking themselves. That?s a lot of red tushies!!!

 

Speaking of fantasy football, I lost my fantasy game this week. I am
all but eliminated from the playoffs. It was a close game going into Monday Night. I had Aaron Rodgers and the team I was playing had Drew Brees.
Under normal circumstances, I wish some sort of temporary paralysis to
the player that I?m facing. But I just couldn?t do it with Drew. I love
him. Even though he just wiped me out of fantasy football. I still love
him.

 

Let me tell you why. My dad went to Purdue. My sister and I were
tikes. Or, as I liked to think of it, the shortest co-eds on campus. We
lived in what was called Married Student Housing. As it turns out, the
house that we lived in was situated smack dab in the middle of
Fraternity Row. We had no money. We were so poor, we couldn?t even
afford the trailing ?o? and ?r? and were just called po?. My mom worked
part time in a health food store. The owner took pity on our family.
So, rather than tossing the rotten food in to the garbage, he gave it
to us. We would enhance the rotten food with some delicious meat that
my dad would score from the meat lab. Did you realize that you can feed
a family of 4 for at least a week on one head of rotten cabbage and
some cow tongue? West Lafayette can be a little harsh in the winter. It
wasn?t unusual for our toilets to be frozen over and icicles to appear
on the inside of our windows. I don?t want you to think this is
a sob story. Far from! I consider this to be the best upbringing ever!
My family is awesome and rock solid and we truly enjoy spending time
together. I consider myself to be infinitely thankful for that and for
the way I was raised. (I?m typing this as my family is driving to
Denver to spend Thanksgiving with me, so I?m a wee bit nostalgic).

 

What does this have to do with Drew Brees?? Oh, yeah. Well even
though we didn?t have 2 pennies to rub together, we had season tickets
to the Purdue Boilermakers football games.
It was there that I fell in love with the game of football. Well, it
was actually there that I first learned the agony of having your dreams
crushed. The Boilermakers had these baton girls that were called Golden Girls. No, Bea Arthur was not out there twirling the baton! The Golden Girls
were these gorgeous creatures that would come out with the band at half
time and possessed such grace and beauty and would absolutely enthrall
me. I wanted to be a Golden Girl
more than anything. After practicing and practicing my little heart
out, my sister crushed my dreams by informing me that only blonde girls
could be Golden Girls. In retrospect, she was probably saving
me from years of pain by slashing my dreams right there. I have the
grace and agility of a drunken 3 legged platypus on an incline.

 

Anyway, once my hopes and dreams were shattered, I was able to focus on things other than the Golden Girls during the football game. Like the world?s largest drum! Oh, and I started watching the game,
too. And I loved the game. My sister and I had always talked about
going to Purdue for college, but both of us ended up at Texas Tech.
Purdue remains my 2nd favorite school. And I have loved
following them over the years. I was actually disappointed when Brees
left Texas. (He was undefeated his senior year at Austin Westlake and
beat Abeline Cooper to win the Texas State Championship? interestingly Dominic Rhodes
was on that Abeline Cooper team). As sad as it was to have Texas bred
talent leave the state, I was so happy that he went to Purdue. There,
he and Joe Tiller teamed up. And they introduced the Big Ten and the rest of the country to the spread offense. At Purdue, Brees shattered almost every passing record in the Big Ten.
And he took the Boilermakers to the first Rose Bowl
in over 25 years. And I just loved watching him. He was so poised on
the field. I have always been impressed with how well he handles
pressure.

 

One thing that I attribute to his incredible poise and precision is
his birthmark. I have a theory that his birthmark actually speaks to
him. His birthmark looks down the field, sizes up the defense, watches
their formations and spots the open man. Upon spotting the receiver,
the birthmark says ?throw the ball, Drew? in this high pitched voice
that is somehow inaudible to any nearby offensive linemen, defenders or
officials. The birthmark also says, ?hand it off, Drew?, ?slide, Drew?,
and ?throw it away to avoid the sack, Drew?. Just for my own added
pleasure, I usually reenact the voice while Drew is making the play.

 

I wanted to double up on New Orleans
when they faced the Chargers in London. I really liked their matchup
against San Diego. But I just wasn?t sure how the birthmark would
handle jet lag. Also, would the birthmark, while exposed to the English
culture, develop a British accent? I tend to do this. If I am exposed
to a particularly strong accent for a long period of time, I will begin
to mimic it. But I?m not sure if birthmarks have these same tendencies.
I was surprised to find that there is precious little information on
this topic. I asked a dermatologist who is a supposed expert in the
field of birthmarks, but she made it sound like birthmarks don?t have
their own personalities and voices. Whatever! One of my freckles
started yelling that maybe she should go back to school and become a
real doctor, but I left to save him the dignity.

 

I recently read that Drew?s parents considered having the birthmark
removed when he was a boy. Evidently the doctors convinced his parents
that there was no harm in him keeping it. Can you imagine if he had it
removed?? He certainly wouldn?t be the quarterback he is today.
Doubtful he?d even be in the NFL. Mark Brunell would have started on Monday Night. He probably would have thrown 5 INTs and I would have won my fantasy game. <sigh>

 

I?m still glad he kept the birthmark. I still enjoy watching him and
his little friend on his face shatter records. Heck, I still love him!

 

 

Hope everyone has a great plucking Thanksgiving!

 

Gobble, gobble!!!

Juicy

Juicy’s NFL Point Pool Week 11 in Review

Friday, November 21st, 2008

Hey Point Pool People!


Remember - there is a Thursday game this week. Make sure
to get your picks for the Thursday game to Big Papa by 6:00 p.m. ET.

 

I’m writing this on the plane. Flying out to Jersey. The stewardess (who is really a dude, but I’m
still referring to him as a stewardess because he’s way more feminine than I
am) just handed me something that (s)he referred to as a "cheeseburger".
The package says Beef Charbroil. There is nothing that remotely resembles beef
in the container. There is a brownish substance, but to call that beef would be
like calling Dancing with the Stars a "reality" show. Oh, wait, they
do. Ok, fine! This is "beef" and a bunch of idiots twirling around on
tv is "reality".

 

Here’s the NFL Low Down for Week 11:

 

Congrats to SRS for posting the largest gain this week!

 

What a strange week in the NFL? for the first time ever
in the NFL two teams yielded a score of 11 to 10 (although that shouldn’t have
been the score) and a tie game (although the QB of one of the teams didn’t know
that a tie was possible).

 

Even though I understand the rules, I think that overtime
in the NFL is ridiculous. It really shouldn’t come down to a coin flip. I hope
they revisit the rules. I prefer the OT rules in college. It is just so
anticlimactic in the NFL. While we’re revisiting rules, I would also like to
change the rule for delay of game. It should not only be a 5 yard penalty, but
also loss of down. I hate it when teams use it strategically. If it’s 4th down
and the team with the ball lets the clock run down, it should be turned over to
the other team. Also, I think any Defensive player who celebrates "stopping"
the opposing team on 1st or 2nd down should be ejected when the team ends up
picking up a first down in the next play.

 

Ok, I can’t take the MNF announcers anymore. They drive
me crazy. And it’s not just Tony. Though he is like pouring gasoline on a fire.
Did you hear at the beginning of the game when he said that the majority of
people pull for teams like Green Bay and Buffalo because that’s the real "Americana" with Dairy Queens instead of
malls. He is paraphrasing Sarah Palin and her idiotic sentiments that "real
America"
is made up of a bunch of gun-toting, intolerant inbreds. Any time you’re
tapping Sarah Palin for inspiration on public speaking, you know you’re in
trouble.

 

Also, I think we could have found some other announcers
for the game and I’m sure that Derek Anderson could have taken a couple of
snaps to allow Tony, Mike and Jaws to get a room with Brady Quinn.

 

I had originally written a letter to the officials who called
the Thursday night game complaining about losing the Point Pool on account of
their bad call(s). I have since withdrawn my complain as I can only imagine the
atrocity that ended the Steelers game would be (and should be) getting more
attention. Unbelievable! $100M bet on the Steelers/Chargers game. $66M on the
Steelers. I like Contessa’s comment in the Guest Book, "Vegas got a get
out of jail free card courtesy of the booth review". Nice! I’m wondering
if there was so much action because of the Nike commercial with LT and
Polamalu.

 

Speaking of that commercial, do you think they’re going
to start airing an updated version? It would be cool if they had a version that
showed a couple kids growing up, learning the ins and outs of gambling,
studying the lines, reading the weather and injury reports, placing their bets?
then, one of the guys being tracked my some goons and having his knee caps
busted.

 

My Dog Makes Better Picks Than Me:

 

I have had my dog for 8 years and every day I uncover a
new skill in her repertoire. The latest - she makes the best picks ever. On
Sunday morning, I decided to test her abilities to make NFL picks against the
spread. I had two identical treats, same size, same flavor. I put them on the
floor. One on the right side, one on the left side. Then I marked 2 solo cups,
one with AWAY and one with HOME. Then I covered each treat with a cup and call
the game (for example, BaltimoreNew York). I only tested
her on 4 games. I didn’t want to overdo the treats. She was 4 for 4. She picked
2 home teams and 2 away teams - NYG, CIN, DEN, DET. Unfortunately, I tapped
into this skill a little too late as I’m already out of the point pool, but I
would be more than happy to share her skills for a nominal fee. Let me know if
you need her.

All in the Family:

 

I love a close family. Blood is thicker than water. And,
with this family, their skulls are thicker than a brick wall. A mother was
driving with her 1 year old son in Indiana.
She got pulled over for driving under the influence. Pretty idiotic, right? It
gets better! She calls the boy’s father to come pick him up. Turns out Dad is
also drunk and gets a DUI. Uh oh. So the parents decide to call the responsible
and trustworthy Grandparents to come get the kid. The Grandparents drive to the
police station to pick up the kid. Oooops! They were drunk, too. But Grandma
was not over the limit.  Awesome!!!   Check out the story.

 

 

A Little White
Castle
Makes Everything
Better:

 

I was afraid I might have missed Thanksgiving as it seems
like Christmas is already here. There are radio stations that have converted to
the full Christmas music format, the neighborhood Christmas lights are up, and
the Grinch has already been on tv for cripe’s sake. But I consulted the
calendar and, as it turns out, Thanksgiving is still over a week away. Good
thing because I just stumbled upon the best Thanksgiving recipe ever!! Having
some loved ones over for Thanksgiving? Really want to impress them and class up
the joint?? You only need a bag of White Castles. Break up 10 belly bombers and
insert in bird.

Here’s the recipe. You can thank me later.

 

Shocker:

 

Congratulations to the Arizona State University Sun Devil’s
track team! On a recent trip to the White House, the team was photographed
President George W. Bush flashing the SHOCKER (which is also the Sun Devil hand
sign). The best part about it? The picture was posted on the home page of the White House
website!!

 

 

 

By the way, the entire Big Papa Point Pool Staff will be
making a publicity appearance at Wildflowers in Pennington, NJ
on Thursday. There will be time for a photo op and autographs. Hope those of
you who are local can stop by and say hi.


Hope everyone has a great week and good luck with your
picks!

 

Cheers!

 

Juicy