Archive for December, 2008

Final week of NFL 2008

Wednesday, December 31st, 2008


Here is the Low Down for the final week of the regular
season and 2008 (with some other nonsense):

 

Congrats to FFP for having the balls to go all in and the
brains to hit it? biggest gain of the week and #1 spot after regular season.

 

And way to go, Contessa!!  I am so happy that you’re
in the playoffs!!

 

2008 was chock full o’ exciting news and events - gas
prices ranging from as high as $4.15 to as low as $1.35, the historic election
of a new prez, our introduction to Sarah Palin, a complete and total financial
meltdown with a side of housing crisis for good measure, hurricanes, bailouts,
the resurgence of the mustache as the facial hair must-have, Michael Phelps and
a walrus playing the saxophone. I hope that you all had a
wonderful year and are well positioned for an amazing 2009.

 

What a week! I don’t even know where to start. Well,
before we get to the NFL action, it was announced that Tom Brady is engaged to
Giselle Bunchen. So sad. On many levels. One, I really preferred Bridget
Moynahan. Also, I was holding out hope that one day I would be Mrs. Brady.
I guess I will have to cross him off the list. Romo was #2, but I’m really not
sure how much I love him right now. I guess that puts Big Papa in the #1 slot!!

 

16 Sunday Games. 10 1:00 Games - 6 of those games with
playoff implications, PLUS the implications of the Lions going 0 fer. (Way to
go Detroit!!)
We saw the Rams and the Raiders play some decent ball with nothing on the line.
We saw Matt Cassel kick a punt. And we saw both Carolina
and Minnesota
lining up for Game Winning FGs at the same time with :05 and :06 remaining.
Then Drew Brees almost break Marino’s record. In the late games, we had the
Fins who were 1-15 last season winning the AFC East title and the frickin
Eagles shellacking my beloved Boys. Humiliating. Followed by a good ol’
fashioned behind the shed beating of the Broncos in San Diego. Finally, Sunday was brought to a
close with the firing of 3 coaches.

 

I learned a lot about gambling this weekend. With 16
Sunday games, it was impossible not to get into a little action. I learned to
love (and then hate) the round robin parlay. You pick 3 games, in a parlay
sense, then the round robin comes into play. You basically end up with 3 2-team
parlays. Team A and Team B. Team B and Team C. Team A and Team C. Then there’s
the If bet and the Reverse Double If bet. It got a little confusing. I couldn’t
keep track of who I was cheering for and why. That may have been the gambling,
or it may have been the Jaeger. Hard to tell. Anyway, the best action of the
day came in the Giants game. We bet the Giants first half, getting 3. Vikes
were up 3-0, which would have been a push. But then Peterson broke the 67 yard
TD run making it 10-0. The Giants were surprisingly aggressive. There were some
starters that were benched, but Eli was still in and airing it to a high
degree. Of course, if Plaxie would have been in the game, it would have been a
little different. But Hixon has a hard time coming down with the ball the way
Plax did. Ward scored a TD that was nullified by a NYG penalty. The G Men had
to settle for a couple FGs. With 31 seconds remaining in the 2nd Quarter, the
score was 10-6. It looked all but lost for the first half bet. But then Minnesota went for it on
4th and 1 with a QB sneak and lost 4 yards. Giants got the ball on their own
43. 4 consecutive completions later and the Giants were lining up for a FG from
the Vikes 24. Nothing like a garbage FG to win some cash! Oh, and don’t worry?
we thought that Minnesota going to take control in the 2nd half when the Giants
benched their starters, so we bet the Vikes in the 2nd half and promptly lost
all of our 1st half winnings.

 

2 other notes on the Giants game? Fox spent a full 5
minutes talking about how Adrian Peterson is so great at holding onto the ball.
They even had flashy graphics to show. They called his grip "one of the
strongest in the league". 2 seconds later, he fumbles. I swear, they do
this on purpose. Speaking of the commentators, Brian Baldinger was one of the
announcers for the game. Every time they cut to him in the booth, he would make
every effort to accentuate his point by talking with his hands. Now, I talk
with my hands all the time. So I don’t necessarily have an issue with someone
who likes to illustrate a point using their hands. However, if your pinky
finger is super mangled and is perpendicular to your hand, perhaps you should
stick it in your pocket while you talk. It is distracting and disgusting and
just plain wrong.

 

I loved the Texan kicker, Kris Brown, recovering a
fumble! I am guessing that this was the first Sunday during the season that he
was not stuffed into the locker!

 

How about the Battle
of the Pirates - the Buccaneers and the Raiders? Should have been way more
swashbuckling and whatnot. The first quarter was a stink fest. Back to back to
back to back to back (and so on) punts with both teams averaging 2.5 yards per
play. And here’s the thing, it wasn’t necessarily that the defenses were
playing tough. The offenses were just a bunch of scallywags. Arrrrgh!! Someone
should have walked the plank. (if I had to vote for someone to go to Davey
Jones’ locker, it would be Monte Kiffin? TB Defense has always been strong and
tough? not so much lately? Bucs close the season losing 4 in a row)

 

We sat next to the most annoying guy during the early
games. He was one of those know-it-alls that has to just talk nonstop about the
most inane things. I was overjoyed when he paid his tab and left after the
Cowboy game started. I was afraid we were going to have to give him the ol’
Sleeper Hold, or perhaps stick a rusty screw in his eye.

 

Did you see the Jets miss the extra point after their
first TD? I thought, ‘oh no, there are play off implications here? you don’t
really want to miss any automatic points’. (I only say the automatic thing
because I have read so much lately that the extra point kicks are way too easy
these days?). Anyway, the Denver
game started much the same. Denver
scored a TD for the go ahead score in the first quarter and they missed the
extra point. I wrote ‘over’ in my handy little notebook at that point.

 

I hate the recent series of Lexus commercials (that they
play nonstop on Sundays) where the kids are recollecting their best Christmas
gift ever (big wheel, atari, pony, etc), only to have that gift trumped when
he/she grows up and gets a Lexus for Christmas. You really mean to tell me that
the guy who got a wicked awesome atari for Christmas when he was little is
somehow more pleased later in life when he is working 80 hours a week trying to
pay off his mortgage and losing more than half of his retirement this year and
is finally breathing a sigh of relief after paying off his Camry, when his
stupid wife, who has absolutely no idea how dire their financial situation
really is, goes out and puts $5000 down on a lease for a Lexus with a monthly
payment of $600 requiring him to pay a $500 registration fee and his insurance
goes up 25%?? I’m sure he is kicking his heels.

 

Speaking of commercials, I love the ESPN commercial for
the Fantasy Playoffs. It shows the teams who have had a disappointing year -
Romolicious, House of Cards, One Giant Step, Behind the Steel Curtain, Boston
TD Party. I just love the Romolicious girl, with her mascara streaked face.
Perfect! (that wasn’t too far from the reality I felt on Sunday)

 

I am so glad that it sounds like 7 is going to be ok. I
was so worried when I saw the stretcher. I didn’t breathe until I saw him give
the thumbs up. That was scary. It was sad that it happened during such a
meaningless game, but I really admire when coaches play their starters down the
stretch. At least for the first half. Hope he mends well during the bye week.

 

I still enjoyed the meaningless games. I mean, with the
Manning boys not really playing for anything, Archie could finally spend the
day with Cooper. That really warmed my heart.

 

Did you know that there are 2 NFL teams with marching
bands? Washington and Baltimore. Love the Aflac Trivia questions!!

 

I have to run now? I’m working on my resume; I’m applying
for the Cleveland
job. Wish me luck.

 

Just kidding… I’m actually heading to Dallas to go to the Cotton Bowl on
Friday.  Texas
Tech versus Ol’ Miss.  It’s the last Cotton Bowl ever.  Go Red Raiders!!!

 

This email is dedicated to the memory of our friend and
fellow point pooler, Jim Neary. Jim passed away this weekend. He was a ML
employee and in the PP for years as a member of Team 4, Grumpy Old Men and most
recently Team 2. Big Papa says that Jim was one of the nicest guys he has ever
met. He will be missed.

 

I hope everyone remembers to laugh and love more than you
thought was possible today and every day.

 

And remember that throughout the New Year!

 

Happy ‘09 Everyone.

 

Cheers!

~Juicy

Juicy’s NFL Week 16 in Review

Wednesday, December 24th, 2008


Just like in the NFL, there is still much to be
determined for the final playoff spots in the Point Pool. Unlike the NFL, only
the Top 5 make it to the playoffs.

 

No Thursday Game this week… PICKS ARE DUE FRIDAY, 12/26
BY 6:00 P.M. ET.


Here is the Low Down for Week 16 (with some added cheer
for the holidays):

 

Congrats once again to Rob D for hitting the biggest gain
this week. I think he should officially change his name to Lucky MoFo. Either
that, or Stylez.

 

The average points wagered by each team was 73%.

 

Overall, more bad picks were made than good picks. 57% of
the picks were bad to 43% good. And, more points were wagered on bad picks. 60%
of the points wagered were on losers.

 

The average gain/loss for the week was a loss of 4,750.

 

10 Dogs were winners in Week 16.

 

8 of those Dogs won outright; including Seattle and
Washington, whom our own NFLostradamus Big Papa predicted to be outright
winners proving once again that he is not only sexy, but smart too!!

 

The Pats can conceivably miss the playoffs with an 11-5
record, while San Diego can beat Denver to go 8-8 and
clinch the AFC West, thereby hosting a game. How sick is that? Oh, and Arizona can suck it up
again this week and lose 5 of their last 6 games to finish 8-8 and still host a
playoff game. Blah! I thought the BCS was BS.


Did you see that Bruce Gradkowski is starting for the
Browns on Sunday AT Pittsburgh.
If his numbers from this past Sunday are any indication, it could be a long day
for ol’ Brucey. He went 2-5 for 8 yards and 1 INT against the Bengals. What
happens when the Steelers break his arm(s) during the first quarter? Who will
the Browns put in? Do they have anyone left? Please tell me that Cromeo is
going to suit up! What other options do they have? Who knows, Cromeo might score
the first offensive TD for Cleveland
in 6 weeks!!

 

Maybe if the Steelers Defense scores enough Pick 6’s, Pittsburgh won’t need Big
Ben to touch the ball. 4 Fumbles?? Come on Seven. You’re better than that!

 

The Lions have a fighting chance to be the first ever
0-16 team. Good News!! The Lions have not won in Green Bay since 1992!

 

What’s up with the Jets traveling West? Do they have the
worst travel agent ever? The Jets are 0-4 on the West Coast, whereas the other
East Coast teams have combined for a really nice 10-1 record this year.  I bet all of the other teams are staying at a
Holiday Inn Express!

 

Why can’t Denver
win at home anymore? Denver
at home used to be one of the sure things. No longer. Prior to this season, the
Broncos have enjoyed the second best home field record (going 207-82 since ‘70).
They are 4-4 this season and considering that one of those wins was based more
on a Hochuli’s blown call against the Chargers, that’s a generous 0.500. I was
going to make a joke that the Barrel Man must have moved. I wanted to include a
pic of the local hero in case you guys on the East Coast didn’t know who he
was. I found his Wikipedia page. (God Bless Wikipedia for giving the
Barrel Man his own site!!!). And I saw that he frickin retired at the end of
last season. WTF?? That’s definitely the reason for the home field drought! Denver needs another
Barrel Man to step in and fill that cask!! I’ll hold tryouts before next
season. Here’s a better picture!

 

I loved the New England
game. For a lot of reasons. I won money. That’s always nice! I loved the snowy,
wintery conditions! The best football is always played in snow, as far as I’m
concerned. And I loved Matt Cassel literally throwing his success in the face
of stupid Matt Lionheart.  Cassel
ended the day with 345 yards!! And I absolutely
loved loved loved Wes Welker’s snow angel!! Best snow angel ever. And, unless I’m
wrong, the only time a snow angel was penalized 15 yards in the NFL.

 

I just kept thinking on Saturday night that Dallas HAD to win their
last game at Texas Stadium. All of the former Cowboy greats standing on the
sidelines. It really should have been a winning moment for all. Well, that
feeling vanished after I saw Dallas
"defense" give up back to back TD runs of over 75 yards. So Long, Texas Stadium! I will
miss you.

 

Is it just me, or does it seem like people are more
outraged by Tennessee
stomping on the Terrible Towel than having our President pelted in the head by
a shoe??

 

Finally, for all you last minute shoppers? (like me)

 

I absolutely hate shopping. Hate it. I hate shopping when
the stores are empty. This time of the year, when the parking lots are a mob
scene and the stores are packed with idiots, it’s unbearable. I am an online
shopping whore. I buy everything online. One of my favorite sites is Amazon. It’s
a one-stop online shop for me. They have anything you can possibly imagine.
Books, movies, clothes, electronics. Heck, my sister even got a years worth of
cereal through Amazon. One feature I really like in the Amazon site is the
recommendations. They track your purchases and try to type cast you. Once you
get past the creepiness of it (I mean who wants a computer to be able to
dictate your likes and dislikes??), it is actually kind of a handy feature.

 

Well, I was shopping recently and noticed that I had a
lot of strange health related items. See, a couple of years ago, I bought one
of my friends some Iodine for his birthday. The Perfect Gift, right? Actually,
it was just a joke. The guy had never heard of iodine, or Monkey Blood, as I
call it. One of our mutual friends had a vicious wound on his arm (so bad that
we had to name the scab because she seemed to develop a personality of her
own). I suggested using Monkey Blood on the wound. My mom used to always treat
my flesh wounds with Monkey Blood, and I turned out just fine! A little iodine
and some gauze and you are good as new. That’s all you need in your First Aid
Kit. While I was describing my love for Iodine, my friend (the one with the
approaching birthday, not the one with the puss-seeping gash) looked at me like
I was crazy. That may, or may not be, a look that I am all too familiar with.

 

But in this case, I decided that he needed some Iodine in
his life and decided to gift him a lovely bottle. I purchased the gift thru
Amazon and spent $5 (total/all together) for 32 oz of Iodine. (funny, I just
saw in Wikipedia that Iodine is used in making methamphetamine and that large
purchases are tracked by the DEA!).

 

Well, lo and behold, my recommendations have been
tailored for someone who has an affinity for Monkey Blood and such things. My
recommendations include a skin stapler (with 25 staples), an ammonia inhalant,
a synthetic suture / needle combination, bloodstopper trauma dressing and a
waterjel burn gel unit.

 

Looks like I’m going to have to step up my First Aid
Kit!!

 

Good luck to those of you who are still alive in the pool
with a shot at the playoffs!  Hope Santa
brings you a big stocking filled with Point Pool Points!!!

 

And Happy Holidays to everyone.  Or, the words of Russo, "Have a great Holiday… no… shit no… Have a Great Christmas…
enough of this political correctness crap".  Amen!!

 

Cheers,

 

~Juicy!

FJA’s Week 16 Monday Night Football Picks

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

If you’d followed my picks from yesterday, you would have been a rich man.  We won on spreads AND money line!

Giants gave me a scare but someone from the NYG staff had the G-Men at -3.5 and made sure Jacobs ran it in to the end zone in OT.  Gotta love it!!

So here’s tonight’s picks:

*  Bears - GB has nothing to play for… Bears need the win to stay in contention in the NFC North. I still like the Bears to take the division.  Go ahead and give the 3.5 or even 5 points.  Orton will cover.

*  UNDER - It’s freezing outside.  40 points is a lot for both teams.  Bears defense will come to play.  It will be low scoring.  I like the under.

Fake John Anthony’s NFL 2008 Week 16 Picks

Saturday, December 20th, 2008

Fans, 

Here are my picks for the Sunday games:

1.  Atlanta - getting points inside the doom… and they’re better than Minnesota.  Take money line as well!

2.  Tennessee - giving 1.5 to Pitt seem hard but they’re giving for a reason.  Pitt is due for a let down.  Go with Kerry Collins, he’ll have a good game.  Pitt will be pounded on like they did by the Ravens.  Pitt got lucky and escaped.  Hainsworth may be out so you may actually get more points by game time.

3.  NY Giants - Jacobs is coming back!  Carolina playing @ the Meadowlands … Jake Delhomme will have his challenges with the wind.  Go Giants - they’re due for a win!!

Fake John Anthony December 20, 2008 Saturday Night Football pick

Saturday, December 20th, 2008

Fake John Anthony has been hot… Tonight I like Baltimore getting the 4.5.  I also like the money line.  Dallas is dealing with a must win situation and I believe they will choke.  My third pick would be the UNDER tonight.  I don’t think either team will score.